My Rose

A tear for every friend astray, a smile for each memory found.
A petal for every tear shead, for every flower lost and found
Withers in darkness, shines in light, my flower stronger and bright.

Pillows wet and faces dry for the night brings sorrow and day brings strain, eyes are closed, but thy heart is open, lips are sealed but thou heart still listens, What is there cannot be found, for every beat there is a sound. For every sound there is a cry, what is there can still be found.

They are there, but they are not, their pain a whistle, silent but soft.
Soft the winds, tough the stem, but yet another petal perish.
Under the velvet snow it falls, what does it matter? nothing at all.
From me to you my flower shared, my feelings for you never dared.

The night has dawned, the day has bound, my stem was cut, my flower found to be lost again in an endless frown, cast down to my saddest gown, upon which i lay my head, for each tear drop makes a sound.

A brand new day, a brand new start, but night will come, the day is done the mask exhausted, a petal falls worn and exhausted.
My flower exasperated, diminish and downcast. For you i lay my stem humble and scared.

Happiness...

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see one that has been opened for us. For some people happiness lies in others, to be happy when you make the effort to make another person smile, and their face lights up because the effort you put in was recognised and made a difference to them. To share that happiness is something people forget to do, selfishness to only to keep that for themselves, can happiness last when the things you do is only for your benefit?

Happy, real happiness is something that people have never witnessed in a long time, who can really be happy? When you see the world as it is, the friends that surround you, happiness has no place in that world, each time a door is closed, try to force it open because, on the other side happiness awaits you, sad reality of it is. There's nothing on the other side just another door, the door that has been opened for us, how do we know it will actually bring happiness, its another chance that we take, what's the difference between the closed door and the open door? Either way we don't know what lies beyond them, only the person that opens it for us does. For one person happiness lies in another, but for some happiness lies in hope, that staring at the closed door would one day open and the time spent staring at the door would pay off, people don't want to give up about something they care for, the person that's behind that door.

Happy times, is always a memory to keep, it's a fuel source that never runs out, a fire that will not by any means wither in the strongest wind or the harshest rains, it still burns bright, the smallest flames could keep anyone going in the cold nights. Nothing last forever, not even happiness, but the memories you have will last forever, doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing. Not all flames are worth being lit, some are worth the time and effort to put out, those are the flames that shine bright, but burns, scorches and scars those are the ones that are better off thrown in a river that kept dear, it never brings happiness but hurts, thorns that need to be pulled out of the wound so that in time it heals and what is left is a constant reminder, in time your knowledge and experience will bestow wisdom on you. The doors you have been through, you know how to open but its your choice whether to open them or not.

Where does your happiness lie? Does happiness actually exist in a world like this, will money buy you happiness or will love, can you buy another person's happiness? To be happy is such an easy concept, but to implement it in real life is like trying to get a camel through an eye of a needle. "If happiness is giving yourself completely to another, without a hint of selfishness, and complete disregard for your own self, then happiness doesn’t exist." (starinthroughmyrearview.tumblr.com)

A Spirit

No life but still lives..
To die is to live.
To make mistakes... a burden.
To lose a friend... means she wasnt one to start with..
You tell me..
Pain is enjoyable to a point of relief.
Memories a knife that kills more than any mortal weapon..
Yet besides all this we dare to live...

why? each step we take is a potiental nail in our foot..
A daring knife in our back, a thorn in our side
Can never be crush, but still trampled
Never falls but still pushed
Each step we take is a potential pathway to continuous happiness...
A simple remedy for life everything in life
Simply comes down 2 attitude
Every observance, every situation, every mistake.

Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself "i have failed" and what happens when he says "i am a failure"

In life we fail, it's human nature that errors are committed in our life, but ideally we make those choices to let that error happen, it's not of someone else's doing that we fail but of our own accord.

Everyone learns from their mistakes, no one is perfect, but to pick yourself up every time you make that mistake is what matters, people make mistakes it's a matter of differing between right and wrong, to acknowledge what you make done, to accept that you have failed. Not everyone's views are the same so moral values differ from person to person, so a third party person in your life judges your decision, in their eyes could be seen as a failed decision or the outcome is not of his liking or the society that we live in for that matter, but the outcome of the decision is only for your benefit, what you do with that outcome and how you deal with it is the major difference between a failure and acknowledging your failure and rising to the trial of getting over it.

In a year, you might fail once, twice or maybe even three times but the reality of that is you would fail, a million time in a day and wouldn't realise the errors you have made, it's the little things in life that measure up to a point where a decision has to be made what to do with the mistakes and failed attempts. It's a matter or being able to climb up those stairs tripping, falling down, picking yourself up and just keep running up, being shot down doesn't mean you can't get to where you want because you cant fly anymore, its a matter of tying up those broken wings and using what you have left to get what you want or to get where you want, yes you would get tramped on, kicked at, pushed aside, but the emotional drive that lies in what your heart desires pushes not only you but the human body to such extremes that things that seem impossible to one person, can be seen as within their grasps of another.

Path to life isn't always set out for us, it's what we do with the tool's we have to make the path what we want it to be. life is always going to have it trials and tribulations, no one is perfect. Perfection is over rated, but trying to achieve it is not, wishing that life would throw you a life line, and turn your head when it does is just stupidity. Is someone ever the reason why your failure succeeded? Ask a person that failed three times and still got up, all he needed to know was blood was still pumping through his body and had a heart of gold, never give up on something you believe in unless what you believe in gave up on you, life throws you a life line and lets go because it believes its not worth your time anymore in letting go it allows you to fall, and learn so when you hit rock bottom, pick up that line, run up the stairs tie up life as you 'knew' it and let it roll down the stairs when you're on top, you would never want to climb down again, then live how you would want to not how life should be lived it leaves no chance of failure. The dust has settled with the trials of life and it shows the difference when a man says to himself "I have failed" and what happens when he says "I am a failure".

Failure is not an option for some people, they want what the heart desires but it comes to a point where the the trials of reaching what their desire is an impossible task, like running at a brick wall over and over again, unless you got something big enough to smash it down, failure is not an option it's something that is cast upon us that destroys our willingness to continue the fight for what we want. Accepting that you have failed, is acknowledging the trials and errors as useless but, to pick yourself up after you failed is the difference between stating "I have failed" and sitting and soaking up the mistakes and failed trials is accepting "I am a failure".

Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying.

You could never see around the corner, what lies after it or what's waiting for you. In the world we have our toe tippers and cannon ballers, toe tippers people that check to see what it's like first before making a decision and the cannon ballers just dive in, no matter what the outcome is because in the end doesn't matter what your decision is, your going to have to deal with it. If your a toe tipper or a cannon baller, it's your decision if you take your chance and run around the corner or take a look first then walk, if life is there to knock you out it doesn't matter if you walk or run, still going to get knocked out.

Today, people never live life they do what they have to do to get by 'surviving' is essential. Living is a totally different concept to surviving, living is enjoying life in all its wonder doing everything to experience life before their last breath. Surviving doing what is necessary to live so that they can see the next day and do the same thing so that they would be able to see the day after that. Thats not living at all and when their on their last breath, a sort of wish escapes with it, the wish to have lived not survived. Some people say life was already written for us and what we do is what was meant to happen, that we have no real power in what lies in our future just how we deal with it that is where the power if left in our choice. living life is a gift, surviving life is a burden to which there is no point in living, the end result is always the same, wished to have lived life on their terms not of one that was set of us.

Awareness does that help us live our life or does it give us and excuse to keep second guessing the decisions we make? Conflict of interest, you can be aware of the situation that lies before you, what outcome it would have in each decision you make, but what the mind doesn't want the heart desires, what the heart doesn't want the mind desires. Even if its bad for you and you have the knowledge that it will hurt you, there is no stopping how you feel or what your heart wants, this is why the heart always wins over the mind. if fate handed you it's last deck of cards and had a limited amount of time before it engulfs you, would you have lived differently to the way you were just living? or would u just keeping living as you were? The story of Adam and Eve, how they defied God and ate from the forbidden tree, it gave them knowledge of good and evil, what the mind desires the heart doesn't want. It was only the mind that was effected by knowledge, but knowledge does not effect how you feel or he things you do out of affection for one and other, things you do out of our own accord does not come from your mind but from the heart, happiness in life, come from making the person next to you smile.

live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying. Death is just a stepping stone into the unknown, instead of fearing it, embrace it with open arms, after you have gone only you would know what lies after the unknown, this corrupt world would be a thing of the past. The people you love and miss,will all have to go through this experience one day, and in that time death is what you make of it. Live to be remembered, die to leave a legacy.

What is art?

When I put my pencil to the blank paper,
don't know what the outcome will look like.
It's the anticipation of the end product,
that entices you...
to draw what you're intending on doing.
Drawing for many people is an outlet,
where the pen acts like a free-flowing tap
into those feelings which can't be expressed in mere words.

Actions often get spilt onto paper,
a roaring wild fire which spreads like there is no end.
Raw emotion put on paper,
creeping across the plains of white,
the pen crosses the bare landscape
splashing feelings and emotions,
allowing that outlet to flow with a constant rush,
and pure feeling poured out onto paper.

The brain is blank to the paper
even when your hand is moving.
It's not your brain telling it where to move,
but your still-beating heart,
a direct connection to the pen
until all is drained of what you kept inside;
once bottled up then let go,
free to its will.

Once the heart is stopped,
your head comes to realise
what has happened,
but doesn't know how it happened
or where it came from.
Just a slight sense of relief,
and a last breath before the end.

The rushing tap is closed,
the vessel ready to be filled again.
Art is an outlet,
where anything kept within is released.
It matters not which emotion,
or how intense it can become;
rather, how easy it is to release,
when the pen is put to paper.

What is utopia? What does this word mean to me? What is my utopia

Utopia, a perfect world in which everyone would live in peace and prosperity. In the real world man has his freedom, to make his own choices, this is why a perfect world cannot exist. We all have our own voices and opinions on certain idealist ways of life. We all want to live a certain way different to the man next to us. Imagine a world where no one lies or deceives, we can only imagine that sort of idea. Lies and deceipt are some of the key components that make this world go round. 'Altruism' is one of the amazing realities that really hits you, friends, parents, lovers, thinking they do selfless acts out of kindness and generosity, but think about it in detail, an angle that hasn't been looked at before is just surprising. People are only capable of giving to others, if it benefits themselves or make themselves look good, it is never or actually is for the other peoples benefits, but always for themselves.

Utopia is like Neverland, where fairies and children live, that never turn old. It captures the innocence of children and is a place where freedom has no bounds; the essential fact that is, that it just cannot exist. We all have different values but are greedy, only thinking of satisfying the needs for ourselves. If utopia was an island and it really did exist, it wouldn't take long to turn into a hole, friends are the ones you keep close to, you do favours out of your our accord, but in reality you do for your own benefit. It's really surprising individualistic society and their own utopia, they think they're in this perfect world, first world nations with all the luxuries in life, until the time they die, but is that really what life should be like? To be born, survive, die. Life should be more than that, it should have more meaning to it, something that when you look back you can say, I lived not survived. They say be yourself, be who you are, I say be someone that you're not supposed to be, someone that society would deem as extreme, crazy, insane, but have moral values and respect for life. Be insane with the ideas that surround you, something that would make a difference to a better world. A utopia cannot exist unless you build it yourself.

Don't do something that benefits yourself, but do something that would benefit others by you doing selfless acts. The lies and deception will never leave this world no matter what we do, I'm the biggest hypocrite of them all, I lie and deceive all the time, I can't help it, but we are surrounded but humans an intergrated species on this planet that strives itself to be the best and survive the elements of time. The weakness of every living thing, it's not a nuclear bomb or a gun, nor a sword or a tool that can cause harm to another but it's as simple as itself, it's hope. It's weakness, if you have no hope, where will be no struggle for happiness. Life doesn't have happy ending, just a pit where we fall in when we surrender, when we put down the guns that we struggle to live by in this world.

A world where friends lie, family deceives, lovers thrust a sword through your heart. It's often that we feel alone, only able to trust ourselves keep everything in the confidence of one's soul. Trust in this world is a rare sight to marvel at, rather than be involved in the world take a step back, observe, witness how friends desert each other, people abandon each other for betterment of themselves. People don't care about others as long as they get what they want, they use you and discard you when your of no use to them anymore, this is how actually they world is, a wise man once said awareness will be the rise to your greatness, i have yet to understand that concept "Hope deceives more men than cunning does.". A person these day can lie at the snap of a finger but yet we stay faithful to them no matter what it was, the most painful part of living in this world is we accept it, because we want to be a part of their lives. A utopia in a world like this, there's a more likely chance of men breathing in space. we cant change who they are, but in turn changes who we are, in the process forgetting who we were in the beginning. They say the world keeps changing, and people change with it, no the people change and their world changes with the decision they have made.

Diversity is what makes us different, but also divides us into groups that we don't want to be in, who would want to be different to other people, just stop and think, a relationship with diversity how long will that last for? people want their cake and eat it too, and most people give it to them without hesitation because they care. although it is a wrong statement because people only care for the benefit of themselves. What can I get from this person that can benefit me? They give them the care and attention because it will benefit them in the long run. Most selfless acts can be undone, just by observing in what context the action is done under. The people that leave a legacy in this world after they die, their acts can be seen as selfless - Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama are excellent examples of this. It's sad sometimes waiting for something or someone to come along and make your life a better place, but hope is a tool never to be trusted, it's like handing a child a loaded gun, now someone is going to get hurt. Utopia is what you make of it, but it can never exist because of the people we live with. People will not going to stop lying and deceiving on your count, but the key is, when they do lie, just smile and nod and disappear into your utopia.